previous - archive - next - current

well here i am. nearly asleep. lol. it didn't work out like i planned. i planned to finish my school work by 5... be free for the evening...go to bed at 10:30... i'm more or less ready for my WC presentation (did no work on it today..i've just been pretty much ready for the past little while) and calculus i began studying but didn't finish... lol..so uh. yeah. and here i am..nearly midnight. typing in here... another 15 minutes and it won't be today..it'll be tomorrow... well, what's currently tomorrow will become today.

i don't have anything interesting to say. the only reason i'm actually updating is that i said i want to update every day. so, for the sake of this journal, let today be noted as a rather unimportant day.

i played my drums for a bit. lol i put on my hanson cd and played... the "middle of nowhere" cd. i can't even sing as high as they do on that cd lol. then again, 2 of them were little boys whose voices hadn't broken yet.... lol. the songs are decent though. they really aren't all that bad. i can see why i liked them so much... well, maybe a little TOO much.... oh hell, FAR TOO MUCH... no one should ever go to the point i went, with any celebrity... but music-wise it's justified, in my eyes. everything else..well, let's just say, at least i grew out of it.

anyway...i'm tired..so that's why i'm kinda just babbling about nothing... you know what word hasn't been mentioned at all in this entry? take a guess? no? here's a hint: starts with the letter "L" and ends in "IZ". =P why haven't i mentioned her? because... what more can i say? i don't want to say. i'm through with saying. i was looking back at some of the poetry i've written... and i must say that some of it surprised me a bit... like... the things i wrote when i hadn't even known her for a MONTH... hell even after a couple of days of knowing her i was writing about her. jeebus. this literally HAS been going on for exactly the length of time i've known her for. lol..yeah that's true. i remember our very first online conversation *smiles* we hit it off well. part of me thinks that that's a major factor in the way things went from there... emotion-wise. well i mean... as major as such a conversation could be. maybe i should stop typing when my brain is already asleep. i won't make ANY sense soon enough...

oh but... i just... i feel FLOWY... i don't know. i can't describe it. and that's the only word that feels even close to right. oh you know what else i noticed? a lot of my poetry has referrences to drowning... what the hell? why am i always drowning? my mind is always drowning.

oh and, my poetry is funny because well, a lot of it, if you don't know how i meant it COULD be taken sexually.... if you choose to read into it that way. however, most of it isn't. if it is, it's clear.. i mean... go read "creation". that's sexual. but i think it's nice sexual. lol. other than that there may be a couple lines in a couple other poems that could be referring to sexual things..or that intended to... but nothing big... "breeze" is another that has some... uhm. i think that more or less covers it. and no, there is nothing in any of my poems about an ocean that was meant in a sexual way. the only "ocean" i found was in "letting go" and that was NOT sexual, at all. and if you don't know why i'm talking about an ocean now, don't ask. if you do know, *waves* hi liz, lol. so yes, or or, there was one i read, i think it was "high" and i was like "shit, this sounds so...sexual" but it wasn't. at all. this is the case with a lot of what i write. chances are, unless it can't be taken a different way, it isn't sexual. creation, i don't know how else you'd take... well, breeze sort of IS meant in a couple different ways, and one of them is sexual... but yes. enough babble about that. i babble too much. i'm gonna go to sleep now. maybe have me some sexual dreams. *laughs* right. i don't have many of those. and if i do, it's LIZ having sex with SOMEONE ELSE. lol. stupid brain..fantasize what you LIKE ...this is our chance to step AWAY from reality... okay, i say i go to sleep now and dream of having sex with liz. lol. *shakes head* if only dreams were controllable. oh wait, that's what daydreaming is for. i don't spend a lot of time daydreaming anymore. i used to. well i'm off. gonna seriously shut up. this is a sign of how much sleep i need. bye. shutting up..now...no wait..i forgot to talk about this HUUUGE topic... lol, just teasing..i'm leaving, really. i am. just you wait. i'll leave soon. okay. enough. bye. bye. gone.

previous - archive - next - current