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Oh dear... I'm so tired mentally and physically and I still have a Calculus assignment due at noon tomorrow, on which i've done 1/9 questions. grrr...

Uhm. Today I had my Algebra mid-term. Remember the one that I was terrified of? Well, see, I went through the textbook and listed all the theorems and whatnot... and got an overview of everything... did examples of stuff I didn't know... and understood how to prove the theorems we were responsible for knowing... So, I did the basics of what I needed.

And.. ah. AWESOME mid-term. I mean, whoo. My hope: 100%. Realistically, I think I'll get 90-100%. Might have made one error being as in a question that I ended up seeing in the last 10 minutes that I made a small error (I had x=1 and so then 2x=2... but somewhere where I needed x I put 2 instead of 1, and so this messed up pretty much the whole question).. soo, in those 10 minutes, i'm rushing trying to redo the problem... having 1 there made it slightly easier than having 2... and well.. here's the thing... at the end, there were two solutions, and my second solution contained a 24 as x, and this other guy had a 12 instead... (we both had 1 in the first solution).. so one of us is wrong, and I fear that in my hurry, I might have messed up... or maybe he did. Who knows... actually... I think I might remember the question. Brb. I need to know if I did it right lol... No, wait, dude, my answer wasn't w/ a 24, that was one of my wrong answers I think. MY answer contained a 45. And I just got it again, so I think unless I'm making the same mistake (possible), I must be right. I really feel good about this... mmm. yum.

LoL, so yeah... Now looking at all of this in general... there are only certain times that I even CONSIDER math... times I like math... and that's when I'm writing a test... why? Cuz I'm just there... THINKING. It's like I FEEL my brain working. Mmm. LoL. Well that goes for tests where I pretty much know what I'm doing... cuz if I don't then I go all panicky "omg omg, ahh! work work work" and then I can't actually work. But often, I'll go off on little tangest taking too long trying to VERIFY my answer, and then I have to actually REMIND myself "dude, you're writing a mid-term..you know time is limited." heh. So yeah. That's when I like it..

But anytime DURING the course, I don't like it... I don't even like the assignments... I don't like ANY of it, except for preparing for/doing tests. So it's like... what the hell? and not even LOOKING at that... would I like to do that kind of thing, as a job... you know, math-type stuff... do research related to it? And well, the answer there is a NO, NO and NO!

I think all it is is that I can get lost in a problem sometimes... if it's something I CAN do but takes actual brain-power to do... and then it's all like "YEAH! BOOST MY EGO BABY!" lol... but other than that, math provides me with no benefits personally.

As for job opportunities.. I don't think it makes much of a difference WHAT you have a degree in, if you want to teach (either in high school OR university) the chances are, one won't be TOO much harder to get than something else. I mean, you went through the system, someone else must want to major in the same thing you do, so there's gotta be job opportunities... and I mean, where you have more people going into a subject, you have more profs coming out of it... clearly. Unless there's a big generational difference and a field that didn't have many interested people before and now does- that field will have a HIGH demand for profs... whereas something that used to be big and has gotten smaller over time, it might be difficult... but with psych, I really don't think it can get SMALLER over time, if anything, I think it will grow... so, no I don't think I'd have better opportunities finding a job as a math prof than as a psych prof.

Okay, now let's take a look at another issue that comes with it... my parents always like for me to consider the fact that you never know WHERE you'll end up in the world. I mean, which part of the world you'll be in... and so, for instance, if you're a math prof, you'll be able to teach ANYWHERE (of course, provided you have SOME knowledge of the language courses are taught in)... but then if you, let's say live in..oh, poland for instance, and you get a degree in polish... chances are not many countries will offer you a teaching position... just because not many countries will have polish as one of the languages they offer... and i shouldn't say "countries" but rather "universities" because it can vary even within a CITY from university to university...

anyway... yeah, I'm pretty sure that psych would be fairly global... I don't think you'll find it in EVERY country that has a university, but most... for instance, it appears that bosnia does not have any university that offers psych... I think the extent is that they might have a single COURSE offered in it or something...

but if you look right at the neighbouring country, Croatia, they have a psych department in their faculty of philosophy at the university of zagreb (yeah, I've done my research). I'm not sure about other universities in croatia, but that's at least one... I'm somewhat confused as to why psych would be just a department within philosophy, but I guess out of the faculties they do have, phil did seem like the most relevant (since they don't have the generic 'arts' but somewhat more specific categories, and with less options)...

So there. Yeah. And BESIDES, say that since most of my family is in Bosnia and my parents would like to move there or to Croatia... say we all wanna go to Bosnia... I could spend a few years teaching in Zagreb (Croat.), and then start up my own department of Psychology at some Bosnian university. I mean, why not... It'd be cool. I could name it after myself *muahaha* wait wait no, 1 - i'm not starting a UNIVERSITY, just a "department of psychology" and 2 - even if it WAS a whole new university I wanted to start up (there they seem to have many small universities related to a specific field) it wouldn't be called anything other than "university of psychologoy" or technically "psihologijski fakultet"... so, no, no name... but it'd be cool. I could say "I started the very first psych program in Bosnia" and get to feel super-special. =P Of course, that would require work and money and stuff, but... doesn't the gov't help out when you're starting up things.. hell, I guess most of it does have to go through the gov't and be gov't owned because well...public university... but yeah. T'would be awesome.. Just something to think about...

Anyway, yeah. I say, however you look at it, I have TONS of opportunities ANYWHERE in the world for... just about anything I'm interested in/have considered/am considering (so, math, psych, phil, engl...) ALL of those are pretty...opportunistic (is that a word? if so, is that the word I intended to use there? hmm..).

Anyhoo. YEAH! They can't tell me no stinkin' "doing math is the smarter route, even if you don't like it"... I mean, for the SMALL advantage it may have globally vs. psych... it isn't worth it. Not if I don't like it and do like psych.

People say "you'll change your mind 18 times while you're in university" and "you" meaning generally.. not ME specifically lol. and 18 being just a random number... But I don't know... I don't think there'll be any more changing than possibly fluctuating between psych phil and engl. That's about it.

But honestly, I don't see myself wanting to go on and get a phd in english... that just seems like "uh, no thanks"... so if i DID wanna do english, it'd be: undergrad degree, teacher's college..high school teacher...

for phil or psych, yeah, I see it as pretty likely to want to do my phd... actually, phil is sort of inbetween engl and psych as far as the phd likelihood goes..

but psych is WAAAY up there... it's almost like, yeah, if i do stick to psych, I don't see why I wouldn't get my phd. I'd LOVE to. It's almost like I don't really CARE about the undergrad for psych cuz it's just kind of like "okay so i have this... now what?" cuz if I go into psych, I wanna be able to do RESEARCH! for phil and engl..not as much... so yeah... we'll see.

But I really doubt that my mind could steer from those 3... and I am PRRRREETTY sure that it'll stick to psych... about 95% sure... it's like I'm wishing I had my PhD right NOW (or was in the process of getting it) so I could actually be DOING what I want to do... whereas with anything else, noooot so eager. So, me love psych? Indeed I do.

Tiny dilemma: I have a couple options, as far as courses go here... we have the 2 psych courses and phil 202... those are set... now, we have options: 1. Stick w/ croat and engl, or 2. don't take croat this term and take this other phil course and engl, or 3. don't take engl and take the other phil course and croat...

I'm leaning towards option 2....buuut *sobs* stupid phil courses (there are 2 i'm choosing between phil 230 and 237) but they're at 8:30am MWF and 9:30am MWF, respectively... and grrr... I don't like that arrangement for 2 reasons - 1. I hate such early early classes, and 2. I wouldn't have friday off anymore and would just have one class MF if I went with option 2... and if right before/after the weekend I have ONE class..and it's so early in the morning... how willing would I be to go... ugh.. not very.. and that is not very smart... but I'd end up hating it for that reason... well hate is a strong word... i'd just be bitter about it... maybe stick with the original plan?? option 1? hmm... but one of those courses is only offered in the winter term.. the other in W, S... neither is in the fall... and chances are, it'll be the same issue next year if I wait..it'll be a morning class..same thing... pah...choices choices...

hmm.. what is the likelihood that next year the same course will be offered at a DIFFERENT TIME? hmm...wish I knew...

let's establish this: I WILL take psych 253, psych 235, phil 202, and add engl 105B to the list...

now... to take croat at a decent time... or take phil at a not-so-decent time?

well let's see... why should I take croat? because I'll take it anyway, could get it over with, and it's done...

why should I take phil? well, considering I plan to minor in it probably... hmm... should have some more exposure to it before making firm decisions... maybe I don't want it at all..or maybe I wanna make it be more than just a minor (joint honours or major even)...

so then it seems smarter to take phil now... because croat..I'll just take two courses to meet my language requirements and I'm done... and those two will be two of 201, 202, 301, 302... of course they'd go in order (ie. 201 and 202 or 202 and 301 or 301 and 302)... and it really doesn't matter... i mean, with 201+202 or 301+302 I'd just have to take the first in the fall and the second in the winter... and if I do 202+301 then vice versa... but other than that..it doesn't matter really.

So... phil? Yeah, phil. That'll be interesting.. 2 phil courses... 2 psych courses... 1 english... well, it SHOULD be an awesome term shouldn't it? those are the three areas I claim to be even CONSIDERING as things I wanna do...

Wooonderful. Well, I gots to get up... between 8:30 and 9 to pick my courses for next term. Which, I've just... picked... uhm. Hmm. Wait. PHIL 230J or PHIL 237? I'm leaning more towards the first but *whines* it's at 8-fricken 30....... the other one is at 9:30... why is it that when trying to make these decisions, what I actually WANT ends up being most inconvenient?? grrrr... and I wish I knew who this prof was for PHIL 237... never heard of him... the one for 230 is my current phil prof... and well, he's nice..great, all that.. just.. a little dry/boring... pah. at least for phil 100...

And grr... the prof that teaches phil 237 is only teaching...waaaait. maybe he's a RS prof...hmm... okay, out of the 4 different terms listed on the schedule of classes search... he appears to be teaching ONE course and that's that one... what the hell? is he a new prof and so far is only teaching one course? is he maybe even a grad student in his senior years, teaching his first class? grrr, answers, where are you??

Well, let us ask myself if I prefer a class of 10 or a class of 40? hmm... well, maybe 20-30 would be ideal... and I like the course description of 230 more...and let's put it this way - I'd much rather take 230 than 237, I'm just looking for a good enough reason so that I don't have to face the dreadful 8:30 morning class... well, let's look at it this way: I can go to my phil class MWF and SLEEP after it (W i don't have a class till 7pm... so..plenty of time inbetween)... There, tis settled. That's not so bad... just go for an hour... Hmm..now I'm more inclined to pass my road test, so I can drive myself on those days there and back, and not take the damn bus...

Yay! It's decided. Now. Me go sleep. And me will slap together calculus assignment in the morning.... as long as it's done before 11:30 at the ABSOLUTE latest so that I can get it in before 12... 20 minute drive... yeah... leave at 11:30..be there 11:50 - perfect... hmm... that gives me roughly 2-3 hours to do it I think... should be okay..for the most part I think.. we'll see.

I need sleep desparately...

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